Cat Naps

POSTED: 22 Sep 2016
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Ah … where should we start?

Haven’t you seen a cuddly furry little one on the sidewalk or one strategically self placed in the warmth of the sun and thought – “I want that”. I have, you probably have too, unless you are one of those cat haters who repeatedly comments on cat videos that dogs are better. Come on, #alllivesmatters #lovewins, learn to love a a wide eye kitty or JUST STAY AWAY.

Ok, got carried away, got slightly agitated there, i apologise. Now back to business. I’m writing this to kindly inform and educate everyone on the secrets of performing a catnap. The actual task is easy, but the preparation is slightly more complicated. It might be seen as an illegal act, but it truly depends on how you do it.

What you need:

– Source a really private space (enclosed if possible, for extra privacy) where there will be no disturbance.

– Make sure no one is watching you on the sly, you don’t want to get caught.

– Get some ropes (sturdy ones that could support body weights)

– Ground sheets or some old newspaper or garbage bags if you are on a tight budget, whatever that will prevent a mess.

– Bodybag (a comfortable one if possible)

– Background music (to cover up any noise or to play some classical music for effects)

– A cat, duh?! Study its habits and schedule, follow them from a distance if you must, but don’t startle your target.

– In case of *gasp* insomnia: Chug down a G&T or two (or three, or four). Whichever works.

After following and shadowing a cat as instructed above, you should know exactly how to nap like a cat. If you’d like, use the ropes you got to create a hammock (google that, I’m not aiding you in that), you can also use your body bag to keep warmth or away from any bad weather conditions. I wouldn’t suggest sleeping aids like sleeping pills, unless you are really desperate. Now lay back in the privacy of your own selected space, play your favourite tunes and drift into bliss like a cat on nap.